checked out
by Anne | 11:40 am
Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestinstagram

Hello guys, gals, and ghosts of all types. I hope that all my articles have been helpful and contain a new bit of information for you to glean from this vast system of knowledge that is the internet. I know I’ve learned a ton since starting my blog. I’ve learned a lot of things in general, but I think that the best things I’ve learned are those about myself. Different facets of myself are becoming less mysterious to me as I continue to delve into everything that could relate to introversion. That can only be a good thing as far as I’m concerned.

Yelling makes me check out

Thinking of This Topic

There was a fight between my coworkers a while ago, and while I won’t go into details, there was some yelling involved. I decided now that things have definitely calmed down and I’m able to think about it rationally that I would talk about my reaction to yelling and raised voices both around me and at me.

I’m a highly sensitive person which means I’m more sensitive to external stimuli. Which means things like aggressive vocal tones and raised voices make me nervous and uncomfortable.

I’m anti-social or a loner. Being around people is not something that I like to do which can make my response when I am around people more dramatic.

Social anxiety, which is a more severe form of shyness, can make me tongue-tied around people. It’s like my brain shuts down and I don’t know how I should respond, even in a normal situation.checking out

Introversion runs through my veins. This just helps compound everything else. In volatile situations, my battery drains faster making me more irritable.

My Reactions

What does this have to do with my reaction to yelling? Well, let’s just say that when there is yelling going on around me, in an aggressive nature, I check out. I will try to get away and if I can’t get away then I will hide. Even if that means hiding away inside my mind and pretending that it isn’t there.

However, yelling at me will cause a different response. Normally that response is to burst into tears. There are a lot of times that I can cry on a dime and there are others where I just won’t. I sometimes feel like I am bipolar in that respect. Yelling at me can cause 2 different reactions: tears and fighting fire with fire. Yes, I do scream and yell at times. I’m human after all and we can only be kicked for so long before we have to bite back.

When did I really start noticing this reaction? I can’t really tell. I’ve always hated yelling, but I think my time in South Carolina as a child helped exacerbate the problem. Of course, there wasn’t very much yelling in my life at that point. It tended to be very quiet when we lived there. At least that’s how I remembered it.

I did notice it when my current step-father would yell at his sons which was a good 12 years ago, at least. I’ve just never talked to anyone about it before. It would be like a switch being flipped on and I suddenly wasn’t there anymore. He’s much more mellow and doesn’t yell too terribly much anymore, at least not in my hearing.

noticing

An Exception

So, with that being said there is one place where I can have yelling going on and not check out and that is at the movies. The people on screen can be screaming and yelling at each other and it doesn’t affect me. I don’t know if it’s the fact that they aren’t actually there or I’m not picking something up in their voices that I do when it’s happening in front of me.

I wonder if anyone has ever done a study like that. It would definitely be interesting to read.

So, there you have it. It was on my mind this week so I decided to share it with you. I will have to monitor my response in certain situations and see what other tidbits I discover about myself.the exception
Things have been going better now that I’m working on my blog. My self-esteem is going up since I started the training at Wealthy Affiliate. I’ve purged some demons by writing about them and sharing them with all you wonderful readers. It’s very exciting to learn new things and I hope I continue to do so as I walk down the road that is life, and my blog in particular.

Can you relate? Please let me know down in the comment section if you can or if you have a story you’d like to share or a question you want to ask. I’d love to hear from you.

Take care,

Anne

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterest

Comments

foxlarsson

Hi Anne!

I’m also introverted and highly sensitive, so I know what you mean. I tend to shut down when there’s yelling or raised voices (or anything else I perceive as aggression) around me.

When I was little and I’d be yelled at for a long time, I’d usually quietly cry. I guess responding never worked anyway. Also, it just felt like if I’m being yelled at, it’s probably because I’m a horrible person and worthless, so why would I defend myself anyway, it’s not like I deserve it.

I’ve learned a lot about myself and my reactions since. And my major trend is if there’s some form of discontentment and irritation around me, my first impulse is to feel it’s probably somehow my fault. So now I take special effort to catch this response when I have it and to patiently explain to my self that other people’s emotions are about them, and not about me. It’s a work in progress though.

The good thing is, now that I am an adult, I don’t have to tolerate being yelled at, I can tell the person to stop or just walk away if they don’t, and I’ve taught myself I actually have the right not to be yelled at. =)

Do you have the guilty feeling response too?

May 16.2018 | 02:28 pm

    Anne

    Hello, and thank you for sharing your experience.

    Yes, I also have the guilty feeling response. I tend to try and nip it in the bud when I start asking myself if I did anything wrong. Of course, I think I managed to become immune to that response at work since everyone tends to be in a bad mood. That might be the one good thing about my day job, it’s allowed me to let go of some of that guilt.

    Take care,

    Anne

    May 17.2018 | 09:58 am

Houston

Hi Anne,

Just wanted to say I really enjoyed your post. It’s not easy to be honest and open especially online. I’m similar to you in many ways. I’ve always been a bit of a loner but I actually find that to be a good thing now. When it comes to people yelling, I’ve always tend to “shut down” and not do well. Even back when I played sports yelling had negative effects on me. Thanks for your post.

May 16.2018 | 02:32 pm

    Anne

    Hello, Houston, and thank you for sharing your experiences. I’m glad that you found my post informative. 

    Take care,

    Anne

    May 17.2018 | 09:48 am

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *