For those of you that have been reading my content you know that I classify myself as an antisocial introvert, or what I consider an extreme introvert. This does not mean that I am mentally ill, or that I’m abnormal. I am simply different. There is nothing wrong with being different, if we were all the same that would make the world a very boring place.
Why am I antisocial? I found a lot of articles equating antisocial to Antisocial Personality Disorder. These are actually quite different. One is a very serious mental illness. The other is the behavior of not wanting to be around people, which is different from introversion.
Let me explain.
So, I looked up 2 definitions for antisocial. One was from Dictionary, and the other was from the Merriam-Webster online dictionary. Here are the 2 definitions.
While antisocial people can be considered hostile according to the definition, I believe that antisocial people simply express their ways of communicating in a way that is against social norms. Many people compare antisocial with asocial, and they would be right. They are basically synonymous when it comes to not wanting to be around people.
The other definition is basically just not wanting to be around people, which is similar to introversion, but not the same.
Now, the definition of Antisocial Personality Disorder is:
- Antisocial personality disorder is a mental condition in which a person has a long-term pattern of manipulating, exploiting, or violating the rights of others. This behavior is often criminal. (According to MedlinePlus.)
- Antisocial personality disorder, sometimes called sociopathy, is a mental condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. (According to MayoClinic)
Now that you’ve seen the two together I’m sure you can tell that these two terms are drastically different and should be treated as such.
Antisocial vs. Introversion
The simple difference are that introverts like being around people, but require alone time to recharge their batteries. Antisocial people just don’t like or want to be around people.
It is possible to be both antisocial and an extrovert. I will admit I’m not sure exactly how that would work, but I do know that it is possible.
While I believe the above combination would be more noticeable, it would be somewhat difficult to separate whether someone is an introvert, antisocial, or a combination of the 2.
How I Deal With Both Introversion and Being Antisocial
As an antisocial introvert I balance things out to the best of my abilities. I like spending time with my family and close friends, but I also don’t want them to be around. It’s an interesting conundrum.
You will find that 9.9 times out of 10 I do not answer my phone, unless it is someone I know, then only if it isn’t a normal time to call. I do not think of calling people. Most of the time I don’t think of texting people either. I’m not a people person.
This feels normal to me. I don’t feel like I’m an oddity, mostly because I have a very understanding group of friends and family around me. If you have friends or family that do nag and complain that you never go out, then it might be time to put some emotional distance between you and them
Something else that I want to tell you are that I do actually communicate with others, just not verbally. At my day job people know that I’m in a good mood, not by the smile on my face, that’s normally not a real smile, but by the fact that I wear lipstick. The color also gives an indication as to my mood.
The more eclectic the color, the better mood I am in. I tend to go for my neutral’s if I’m in a “blah” mood. Black lipstick tends to be for either the fact that I’m excited about today, or I’m just mad about everything in general. When I don’t wear lipstick it shows that I really don’t want to be at work, and that everyone should probably leave me alone.
Antisocials are Just So Unfriendly
In person, yes, I am. It takes forever for me to warm up to people and stop looking at them like they are strange for trying to talk to me when I clearly do not want to be talked to. Only the stubborn and persistent really get through my outer shell.
However, in person is not the only medium through which people communicate these days. I tend to come across as a mix of both friendly and awkward online, especially trying to communicate on a platform that I don’t know, or am not used to. I will master Twitter, eventually.
Texting is another way to talk to people, although this is a mixed bag, mostly due to my introversion and not being antisocial. I need to change the tone my messages play to something soft and soothing just so it doesn’t startle me out of whatever state I’m in.
I don’t like being interrupted by my phone while I’m working, or doing anything really. Probably the reason why during those times I tend to have it on silent.
I will text people, but only if they text first, or I know they want an update of me getting home safe and sound.
We Are Not Alone
So, for those of you who are looking for answers on why you just don’t like being are people I hope you found some clarity. Just know that you are not alone out there. You, at the very least, have me.
Did you find this post helpful? Can you relate? If you can, then please post a comment below. I’d love to hear from you.