by Anne | 12:22 pm
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For those of you that have been reading my content you know that I classify myself as an antisocial introvert, or what I consider an extreme introvert. This does not mean that I am mentally ill, or that I’m abnormal. I am simply different. There is nothing wrong with being different, if we were all the same that would make the world a very boring place.

Why am I antisocial? I found a lot of articles equating antisocial to Antisocial Personality Disorder. These are actually quite different. One is a very serious mental illness. The other is the behavior of not wanting to be around people, which is different from introversion.

Let me explain.

Why Am I antisocial

The Definitions

So, I looked up 2 definitions for antisocial. One was from Dictionary, and the other was from the Merriam-Webster online dictionary. Here are the 2 definitions.

definition

antisocial

While antisocial people can be considered hostile according to the definition, I believe that antisocial people simply express their ways of communicating in a way that is against social norms. Many people compare antisocial with asocial, and they would be right. They are basically synonymous when it comes to not wanting to be around people.
The other definition is basically just not wanting to be around people, which is similar to introversion, but not the same.

Now, the definition of Antisocial Personality Disorder is:

  • Antisocial personality disorder is a mental condition in which a person has a long-term pattern of manipulating, exploiting, or violating the rights of others. This behavior is often criminal. (According to MedlinePlus.)
  • Antisocial personality disorder, sometimes called sociopathy, is a mental condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. (According to MayoClinic)

Now that you’ve seen the two together I’m sure you can tell that these two terms are drastically different and should be treated as such.

Antisocial vs. Introversion

The simple difference are that introverts like being around people, but require alone time to recharge their batteries. Antisocial people just don’t like or want to be around people.Antisocial Vs Introvert

It is possible to be both antisocial and an extrovert. I will admit I’m not sure exactly how that would work, but I do know that it is possible.

While I believe the above combination would be more noticeable, it would be somewhat difficult to separate whether someone is an introvert, antisocial, or a combination of the 2.

How I Deal With Both Introversion and Being Antisocial

As an antisocial introvert I balance things out to the best of my abilities. I like spending time with my family and close friends, but I also don’t want them to be around. It’s an interesting conundrum.

You will find that 9.9 times out of 10 I do not answer my phone, unless it is someone I know, then only if it isn’t a normal time to call. I do not think of calling people. Most of the time I don’t think of texting people either. I’m not a people person.

This feels normal to me. I don’t feel like I’m an oddity, mostly because I have a very understanding group of friends and family around me. If you have friends or family that do nag and complain that you never go out, then it might be time to put some emotional distance between you and them

Something else that I want to tell you are that I do actually communicate with others, just not verbally. At my day job people know that I’m in a good mood, not by the smile on my face, that’s normally not a real smile, but by the fact that I wear lipstick. The color also gives an indication as to my mood.

The more eclectic the color, the better mood I am in. I tend to go for my neutral’s if I’m in a “blah” mood. Black lipstick tends to be for either the fact that I’m excited about today, or I’m just mad about everything in general. When I don’t wear lipstick it shows that I really don’t want to be at work, and that everyone should probably leave me alone.

Antisocials are Just So Unfriendly

In person, yes, I am. It takes forever for me to warm up to people and stop looking at them like they are strange for trying to talk to me when I clearly do not want to be talked to. Only the stubborn and persistent really get through my outer shell.

However, in person is not the only medium through which people communicate these days. I tend to come across as a mix of both friendly and awkward online, especially trying to communicate on a platform that I don’t know, or am not used to. I will master Twitter, eventually.Unfriendly

Texting is another way to talk to people, although this is a mixed bag, mostly due to my introversion and not being antisocial. I need to change the tone my messages play to something soft and soothing just so it doesn’t startle me out of whatever state I’m in.

I don’t like being interrupted by my phone while I’m working, or doing anything really. Probably the reason why during those times I tend to have it on silent.

I will text people, but only if they text first, or I know they want an update of me getting home safe and sound.

We Are Not Alone

So, for those of you who are looking for answers on why you just don’t like being are people I hope you found some clarity. Just know that you are not alone out there. You, at the very least, have me.

Please check out my How to Live as an Introvert, Stop Being an Introvert, and the Opposite of Extrovert: Who I Am posts for more information.

Did you find this post helpful? Can you relate? If you can, then please post a comment below. I’d love to hear from you.

Thanks,

Anne

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Comments

Helen Doyle

I have been determined as an intuitive extrovert. That almost seems like a contradiction to me. But I am both. I also have my introvert moments. I am very happy with my own company. I really like it when my partner goes out for the day. Oh boy, the house to myself!

I love company, but a couple of days for out of my location visitors is enough. I spend the rest of the time wishing they would leave.

So I expect I am a complete mix-up.

You have presented the introvert well. And I don’t believe for the moment that it is a mental ‘issue’

Keep up the good article writing.

Ciao
Helen

Mar 22.2018 | 11:02 pm

    Anne

    Hello Helen!

    Thank you for your comment. Yes, we all like to slide on the introversion/extroversion scale from time to time. I’m glad you found this post enlightening.

    I saw so many other posts when I was looking up ideas for this post trying to say that antisocial and Antisocial Personality Disorder were the same thing, which isn’t the case, so I thought I’d highlight it here.

    Take care,

    Anne

    Mar 22.2018 | 11:07 pm

Josie

This is an interesting article. I’m glad to know there are other people who don’t think its weird to be introverted.
I love being with my family but for the most part, I like being alone. I am really good at entertaining myself and I feel like I have the most fun when I am alone.
Many people get bored easily when they have no company, but my own company is the best in my opinion.
I have lost many friends due to the fact that I don’t want to go out, and I don’t mind it at all.
Company once in a while is great, but no one should ever feel bad about wanting to be alone all the time. This way you are able to do things that make you happy instead of being influenced by others.

Mar 23.2018 | 12:24 am

    Anne

    Hello Josie and thank you for your comment. 

    I agree that my own company is the best thing in the world, other than the company of a good book. Then it’s really a party. I normally don’t go out, unless it’s something that I really want to do, and then it’s normally family that goes with me should I desire company.

    Take care,

    Anne

    Mar 23.2018 | 01:24 am

Jay

Hi Anne, you’ve touched on a topic I think many people can relate to. I know I certainly can. It took took me many years to not only accept that I’m an introvert, but to be comfortable, content and happy hanging out with no one but myself.

Having said that, I had never considered the difference between being an introvert, and being antisocial… and you’ve cleared up some confusion I’ve had. I certainly go through periods of being antisocial, but in general I like being around people, so I didn’t really understand my introversion (if that make any sense). For example… once I realized that, yes… I am an introvert… I assumed I was also NOT supposed to enjoy being around people. And then, those times when I’m with people and enjoying myself, I would think… maybe I’m not an introvert. Your article here pointing out the difference between being an introvert and being antisocial has definitely cleared that up… so thank you.

You also hint towards something else I hadn’t really realized, which is the impact that social media, texting… and the web in general (blog comments for example) has brought introverts together and let us know we’re not alone. In fact, there are a lot more of us than I realized growing up.

I was in my early to mid 20’s before I getting online around ’95 or ’96. I remember the first time becoming friends with people online using a chat program called ICQ, and how quickly we connected at a deep level. It was new and strange for the time, and meeting people online wasn’t as socially acceptable when the web was new… but now that you mention texting, Twitter etc. as an introvert, I realize now why the impact of that era and the memory is so strong.

Anyway… thank you for this. I enjoyed it.
Jay

Mar 25.2018 | 03:13 pm

    Anne

    Hello Jay and thank you for your comment and story.

    I’m so happy that you found this helpful and enlightening. There are so many different intricacies of being an introvert that there is no one size fits all, or even one size fits most mentality.

    Good luck and take care,

    Anne

    Mar 25.2018 | 05:23 pm

ValerieJoy

Hi Anne, I understand absolutely how you feel as an introvert person, or anti-social, whichever your prefer to call yourself.

I am an introvert although once I get started in a conversation with a friend, I find plenty to say. However, I like time to myself. In fact I enjoy time on my own.

In past years when I joined a MLM program I learned then just how much of an introvert I really am. At meetings or get-together-times, I always felt completely ‘out of it’. I could never join in those conversations. I would start to speak one-to-one but either the other person would sound bored, or someone would come an interrupt. I doubt that I ever completed a conversation with any of those people.

We are what we are. Our personalities are part of us. No matter how much we try, we can’t change who we are, and why would we want to. We are what our maker intended us to be.

Thanks Anne for an enjoyable post.

Mar 27.2018 | 03:03 am

    Anne

    Hello ValerieJoy and thank you or you lovely comment. 

    I once tried an MLM program and about fainted when I learned how much interaction we have to do, especially over the phone. I never got up to the get together rank and I’m glad I didn’t. That would have been way too much interaction for me.

    You will probably like the post I’m planning on putting out Wednesday, so stay tuned for it. It’s going to be truthful and personal.

    Take care,

    Anne

    Mar 27.2018 | 03:08 am

Carol M

Hi, Anne. I found your articles very interesting, and I could see myself in some of the descriptions you presented. I, too, hate being interrupted by the phone when I am busy, even if I’m just engrossed in a book…I just don’t want to be bothered. I live in a peaceful setting, and my friends don’t always understand why I love staying home by myself. I learned a lot from your posts. I did not realize that there was a difference between being shy and an introvert. I was very interested in the video you presented. Thank you for this very useful website. I’m sure there are lots of other introverts like us out there who can benefit from your articles. Thank you.

Apr 06.2018 | 10:59 pm

    Anne

    Hello, Carol,

    I’m so glad you found my article helpful and informative. Yes. the ringing of the phone, or even it just buzzing with a text message is enough to throw off my concentration. I’m used to it at my day job, but when I’m at home I don’t want to be bothered. I’m glad you learned something new from my posts. That’s why I built my site. To help others understand themselves and to know that you’re not alone out there.

    Take care,

    Anne

    Apr 07.2018 | 04:46 am

Heather Plude

I think it’s great that you are coming out of your shell enough to put yourself out there on a blog! That’s way more than a lot of introverts can do.

I see nothing wrong with not answering the phone – I do that sometimes.

I’m busy. Some people will keep me on the phone and I got stuff to do!

Nice to “meet” you. If I every run into you, I will try not to talk to you. lol

Apr 09.2018 | 04:35 pm

    Anne

    Hello Heather, and thank you for your wonderful comment. I find it’s not really difficult to put myself out there over the internet, especially in an environment that I can control. It’s the unknown and uncertain that make me wall myself off.

    Take care,

    Anne

    Apr 09.2018 | 06:49 pm

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