Top 10 Ways to Stop Bullying
by Anne | 11:49 am
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Bullying is something that many people go through. Even adults can be bullied: by their spouse, by their boss, even by their parents, but you don’t think of it as bullying. We treat it like the abuse it is whether that’s physical or emotional. It’s not fun no matter who it’s towards.10 ways to stop bullying

When I think of bullying my mind goes immediately back to my school-days. I admit that I have bullied. It’s not something I’m proud of and if I could go back in time I would slap myself silly for even trying. I can’t so the only thing to do is to push forward and try to be a better person each and every day. Here are the top 10 ways to stop bullying both for parents and what they can do to help their children and for children who are being bullied.

What is Bullying

Bullying is the behavior of a bully towards someone else. The real question should be: what is a bully?

A bully is someone who uses superior strength or influence to intimidate someone and to typically force him or her to do what the bully wants.

Therefore, bullying is the intimidation of someone to force them into doing what the bully wants.

According to StopBullying.gov bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.

10 Ways for an Authority Figure to Helptalking

1. Start Talking to Your Kids

    • The earlier you start talking with them about their social lives the more of a habit it will be for your kids to open up to you. It becomes a routine that will help in the long run.
      • Ask open-ended questions such as who they sat with for lunch or who they sat next to on the bus ride.
    • Speak to your children about boundaries and healthy friendships
      • Let them know what’s normal and what’s not. After all, you’re there to teach your children.

2. Recognize the Warning Signs

    • There may be no physical marks when it comes to bullying, but there are signs if you watch for them
      • Avoiding school activities
      • Stomach ache or not feeling well complaints
      • Dropping grades
      • Sometimes
        • Personality changes
        • Changes in eating habits/hygiene
        • Mood swings

3. Teach Healthy Behaviors

    • Enforce the rules, not just that they shouldn’t hit, shove, or be physically violent.
    • Also, that being judgmental, hurtful, spreading rumors is just as bad
    • Teach responsible online behavior

4. Teach Children Tools to Deal with Bullying

    • Walking away from the situation
    • Telling an authority figure like a teacher
    • Telling the bullies to stop in a firm voice
    • Report bullying when they witness it
    • Physical altercations are only for a last resort and should only be used when:
      • Repeat behavior is consistent
      • And the authority figures around you are doing nothing to stop itunderstand school's policies

5. Understand the School’s Policies

    • Understanding how your school district handles bullying is vital
    • Knowing how much authority the schools have to stop this type of behavior

6. Report Bullying Incidents

    • Face-to-face interviews are the best way as it shows a commitment to see the situation resolved
      • When at the meeting be nonjudgmental
      • Address the behavior rather than assigning labels to children
    • Document all bullying incidents so you have a list to bring to the table

7. Spend Time at School

    • One of the best ways to see exactly how the children interact with each other is to volunteer at the school.
    • Since many school districts have had budget cuts and therefore are understaffed sometimes an extra set of eyes is all that’s needed to stop the bullying from occurring.

8. Reward Positive Behavior

    • Everyone likes to be told that they did a good job and children are no exception.
      • Get them something from the toy store
      • Take them to their favorite place to eat or cook them their favorite meal

9. Advocate for Safer Schoolssafer

    • Children are the future and they must be protected both from outside forces and from inside threats to their well-being
    • Help develop an anti-bullying program
      • If they already have one then offer to help with fundraisers

10. Join an Online Anti-Bullying Platform

    • This offers support to adults who might be stressed about how to deal with bullying
    • Gives the latest news and information about the school climate and how to improve the anti-bullying message with youths

10 Ways to Stop Bullying

1. Put on a Brave Face

    • Letting the bullies know you’re afraid can make them feel more powerful which may lead to the bullying getting worse.
    • They look for a reaction so not giving one takes away any power that they think they have and makes you a harder target

2. Having a Friend Around/Avoiding the Bully

    • Greater numbers makes it more likely that the bully will not pick on you
    • Avoid known places where the bully hangs out especially if there isn’t an authority figure around

3. Confront the Bully

    • Sometimes a confrontation is inevitable and may be what’s needed to get the bully to stop
    • Keep your tone strong and sure to let them know you mean business
    • Never get physical unless all other options are exhausted

4. Tell Someone of Authority

    • Let someone know if you’re being bulliedTell someone
    • Telling someone before the bullying escalates is better than not telling because you’re afraid of what the other kids will say

5. Improve Your Self-Esteem

    • Many bullies pick on people who have a low opinion of themselves
    • Learning how to love yourself and improve your self-worth is important not just to stop bullies, but in all aspects of your life even after you reach adulthood

6. Walk the Talk

    • Getting the bully to stop is perfectly acceptable, but don’t take it too far and become the bully
    • Continue to be kind and compassionate
    • Watch your own actions and make sure you aren’t bullying others

7. Educate Yourself

    • Learn different ways to protect yourself from being bullied
      • Take a look at StopBullying.gov for more educational materials

8. Be Observant

    • Don’t ignore the mistreatment of others
    • Remember that if you see someone else being bullied that there might be 2 or 3 other people that are being mistreated that way as well that you don’t seestop bullying

9. Intervene

    • If you see someone else being mistreated or bullied do something about it
      • Stand up for that person being bullied
      • If it’s something bigger than you can handle tell someone
      • Befriend someone that’s being bullied
    • Refuse to join in
      • Continue being kind
      • Don’t spread rumors
      • Don’t bully back

10. Know that What You Do Matters

    • A single act of kindness may not seem like much to you, but it can mean the world to someone else and change that person’s life
    • What you do creates who you are and the environment you live in

Extra: Cyber-bullying

1. Tell Someone

    • Most people that are bullied online don’t say anything
    • This lack of communication is due to fear or embarrassment

2. Keep Everything

    • Make and save a copy of every instance of bullying if you cancyber-bullying
    • It’s easy to hide what happens online at least on the surface so be prepared and have backups ready

3. Engage/Don’t Engage

    • Those seeing these attacks should report it to an authority figure
      • Report as spam or abuse if at all possible
    • Those being attacked should ignore the person that is bullying

Other than that many of the same things apply as face-to-face bullying. Parents should watch for the signs which may include overreactions if the computer or internet privileges are being taken away. Also, make sure that the bully is held accountable. It’s easy to try to twist things so the victim doesn’t look like a victim especially online.

Overall

Continue to be kind, courteous, and compassionate. Don’t let others treat you the way you don’t want to be treated and make sure that physical confrontations are kept as the absolute final solution to the problem. Remember that bullying is no better than abuse, especially if it’s repeated over and over again. I talk about emotional abuse and I’ll link to that article here.

Should you feel like you have nowhere left to turn then please reach out. There should always be hope in a bad situation and a permanent solution to a temporary problem is not one of them.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Call 1-800-273-8255

What are some of your tips to stop bullying? Post them down in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.

Thanks,

Anne

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Comments

Traci

I wish there were more articles out there like this! I feel you really added a lot of steps to stop bullying or seeing other ways to help stopping it.

If we could get more people to read articles like this, especially parents, and to watch more shows like “13 reasons why” bullying would stop. What do you think of that show by the way? Do you think it helps people recognize the bullying problem or heighten bullying to make it look cool?

Jun 05.2018 | 02:34 am

    Anne

    Hello, Traci, and thank you so much for your lovely comment.

    Having been bullied and in turn been the bully definitely helps open the eyes in retrospect.

    I’ve never seen “13 Reasons Why”, but from what I’ve seen and heard about it I’m not sure it’s the best show around.

    From what I’ve heard it tries to glamorize suicide, which is not okay. Also, just from the trailers and the little snippets I’ve seen it looks like she took her own life deliberately to get attention, since she planned it out so far in advance that she could record tapes.

    As for the bullying aspect I’m unsure. I hope that they put it in there that the type of abuse is not okay.

    At the end of the season did they put up any hotlines for suicide prevention or how to help stop bullying? I hope they did.

    I might be wrong. Let me know if I am, okay?

    Have an awesome day and take care,

    Anne

    Jun 05.2018 | 12:06 pm

Flavia

Hi,

These are really good strategies to layoff bullying and abusive behavior.

It’s just sad how some people think its right in their head to treat others with disrespect and like they are lower authority than they are. I think deep down behind a bully, is a root issue that needs to be treated. I realised that bullies themselves may seem like everything is going okay for them on the outside, but on the inside they are hurting just as much as the victims themselves. I think it all starts from home, if they are raised well with good morals and values, then they wouldn’t develop such a behavior.

Great article.

Jun 10.2018 | 12:04 pm

    Anne

    Hello, Flavia.

    Thank you for your comment. I believe that most bullies are what you say. There are some out there that will never change and then there are those that will learn and grow out of it.

    Take care,

    Anne

    Jun 18.2018 | 03:56 am

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