It’s the easiest thing to hear, and the hardest thing to actually do. Putting yourself out there is tough, and can seem close to impossible at times. Be true to yourself. It doesn’t sound hard, does it? I know that I’ve been guilty of not following this mantra, but I try. As far as I’m concerned that is all that any of us can do, and maybe one day we won’t have to hide.
When you hide yourself you’re living a lie. At times, we feel like the only thing we can do is learn to live with who we’re not. This can work, for a time, until it starts to eat you up inside. Then it becomes unbearable because it hurts. Being someone we’re not hurts, then we wonder if anyone can see the pain inside ourselves.
The hardest time in my life was probably high school. I tried to be that bubbly, outgoing person that had a ton of friends, but I wasn’t and I’m not. I prefer quality to quantity, and being by myself to being surrounded by people. Even now I have problems being who I am, primarily at work.
Then there are times when we have to hide ourselves to protect us from pain and hatred. For about a year I had a manipulative step-father. He was not nice and he took my mother and myself away from everything we knew and into his territory, where he had grown up at.
I learned to be even quieter, to not say anything. While I am a loner by nature, I am also a firm believer in speaking up for what I believe is right. Hiding that part of myself was necessary if I did not want to feel his anger. He was not physically abusive towards me, but I believe he was emotionally controlling.
So, I understand the need to hide, to protect from the pain, but I also know that it creates a pain all its own.
What if People Don’t Like Who I Am?
Here is a simple fact of life: not everyone is going to like you. People will think you’re weird or strange for being who you are. There is no getting around that fact. This is the part where I’m supposed to say something like who cares what everyone thinks? The problem is, I do. I don’t like being the center of attention, I don’t like being gossiped about, or stared at, or pointed at.
However, there is something liberating of throwing your arms wide open and yelling at the top of your lungs, at least metaphorically, that this is who you are and no matter what anyone says you’re not going to change it.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. If I had the funds, I would be walking around in Victorian attire. You know, the full ball gowns that swish as you move. I would also wear 18th century work dresses, with the aprons and little caps on the head. Yes, that is my preferred style of dress.
Would I wear it if I had the money? Yes, I would. It’s something that fascinates me, and from what I can tell its fairly comfy.
Accepting Who You Are
This, right here, is the hardest battle anyone will have to face. It’s looking into a mirror, whether that be a real one or the one reflected in your heart and soul, and seeing every imperfection and seeing every flaw and telling yourself that no matter what that you are beautiful and worthy of love and acceptance. Then, you have to live that. You have to accept yourself with no strings attached.
There can’t be any, “I accept myself after I lose 20 lbs.” or, “I love myself, but I wish someone could love me first.”. There are no exceptions to being who you are, no provisos or strings. After all, the only one who you can rely on to love and trust you is yourself.
This is an ongoing battle for me. I’m obese and its hard to stare in that mirror some days and wonder who that girl is staring back. It’s so hard, but if I don’t love myself, then no one is going to. I fail at times, but there’s always tomorrow to look in that mirror and to try as hard as I can again.
Be True to You
No matter what, don’t you ever let anyone else tell you who you are. The only one who can ever give you advice about being true to yourself is you. Much like above there are no compromises, because then that takes us all the way back to hiding ourselves, which just leads to pain and misery.
You owe it to yourself to be honest and frank about who you are.
I’m a writer, an introvert, a reader, a loner. I’m not a people person, I get tongue-tied very easily when I’m flustered. I’m a hard worker, if there is hard work to be done. I’m a slacker when there isn’t work. I don’t take care of myself like I should, but that’s getting better. These are all aspects of me, but above all of them is this very simple one. It trumps all the others by leaps and bounds. I am a dreamer. My imagination is what makes me who I am, and I am more than happy to share it with anyone who reads this.
All you have to do is ask. After all, what’s that saying, “Dream big, or go home.”? Yes, that about sums me up. I reach for those dreams every day. One day, they won’t be out of reach.
Be true to yourself. This leads to happiness, which leads to confidence, and which leads to a more fulfilled life. Become a boulder in a river of uncertainty. Stand there, face your fear of the unknown, and have the greatest of conviction when you say, “I will not be moved. This is who I am and if you don’t like it, then get out of my way.”
Did you find this post helpful? Can you relate? If you can, then please post a comment below. I’d love to hear from you.